Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Violence against women is a phenomenon that cuts across boundaries of culture, class, education, ethnicity and age. The feminist movement of the 70s and 80s made a major contribution in bringing pressure on the  Central Government and the Criminal Law Amendment Committee (1982) to provide legislative protection to women against domestic violence and dowry so that the victim gets justice while she is alive. As a result significant amendments were made in the Indian Penal Code, the Indian Evidence Act and the Dowry Prohibition Act, with the intention of protecting women from marital violence, abuse and dowry demands. The most important amendment came in the form of the introduction of Section 498-A in the Indian Penal Code which reads as follows:-
 “Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
 Explanation-  For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-
 (a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
 (b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.”
The offence under Section 498-A is cognizable (the accused can be arrested and jailed without warrant or investigation), non-compoundable (the complaint cannot be withdrawn by the petitioner) and non-bailable  (the accused must be produced in court for getting bail and he will have to be put behind the bars till bail is granted).
In several cases, the FIR (complaint given by the wife) is typically an imaginary story, running into many pages, with absolutely no supporting evidence. It typically takes about 3 to 8 years for the accused (husband and his relatives) to prove their innocence in the court. There is no penalty for the misuse of this provision of law and after acquittal of the accused the courts are reluctant to entertain defamation and perjury cases against the falsely testifying witnesses. This has given rise to the formation of Harassed Husbands Associations in various States and also at the All India level. Seminars, Conferences, Processions etc are organized by such associations to throw light on the harassment suffered by the husbands at the hands of their wives.
The Supreme Court of India,  in  Sushil Kumar Sharma vs. Union of India and others, JT 2005(6) 266 was pleased to observe as follows:
“The object of the provision is prevention of the dowry menace. But as has been rightly contented by the petitioner  many instances have come to light where the complaints are not bonafide and have been filed with oblique motive. In such cases acquittal of the accused does not in all cases wipe out the ignominy suffered during and prior to trial. Sometimes adverse media coverage adds to the misery. The question, therefore, is what remedial measures can be taken to prevent abuse of the well-intentioned provision. Merely because the provision is constitutional and intra vires, does not give a licence to unscrupulous persons to wreck personal vendetta or unleash harassment. It may, therefore, become necessary for the legislature to find out ways how the makers of frivolous complaints or allegations can be appropriately dealt with. Till then the Courts have to take care of the situation within the existing frame work. But by misuse of the provision a new legal terrorism can be unleashed. The provision is intended to be used a shield and not an assassin’s weapon. If cry of “wolf” is made too often as a prank, assistance and protection may not be available when the actual “wolf” appears. There is no question of investigating agency and courts casually dealing with the allegations. They cannot follow any straitjacket formula in the matters relating to dowry tortures, deaths and cruelty. It cannot be lost sight of that ultimate objective of every legal system is to arrive at truth, punish the guilty and protect the innocent. There is no scope for any pre-conceived notion or view. It is strenuously argued by the petitioner that the investigating agencies and the courts start with the presumptions that the accused persons are guilty and that the complainant is speaking the truth. This is too wide available and generalized statement. Certain statutory presumptions are drawn which again are rebuttable. It is to be noted that the role of the investigating agencies and the courts is that of watch dog and not of a bloodhound. It should be their effort to see that an innocent person is not made to suffer on account of unfounded, baseless and malicious allegations. It is equally undisputable that in many cases no direct evidence is available and the courts have to act on circumstantial evidence. While dealing with such cases, the law laid down relating to circumstantial evidence has to be kept in view.”
Justice Malimath Committee on Reforms of Criminal Justice System, Government of India, Ministry of Home Affairs, 2003 observed the following and gave the recommendation to amend the law immediately:
         “16.4.4.  Less tolerant, impulsive woman may lodge an FIR even on a trivial act. The result is that the husband and his family may be immediately arrested and there may be a suspension or loss of job. The offence alleged being non-bailable, innocent persons languish in custody. There may be a claim for maintenance adding fuel to fire, if the husband cannot pay. She may change her mind and get into the mood to forget and forgive. The husband may realize the mistakes committed and come forward to turn a new leaf for a loving and cordial relationship. The woman may like to seek reconciliation. But this may not be possible due to the legal obstacles. Even if she wishes to make amends by withdrawing the complaint, she can not do so as the offence is non compoundable. The doors for returning to family life stand closed. She is thus left at the mercy of her natal family.
      16.4.5.  This section, therefore, helps neither the wife nor the husband. The offence being non-bailable and non compoundable, makes an innocent person undergo stigmatization and hardship. Heartless provisions that make the offence non-bailable and non-compoundable operate against reconciliations. It is therefore necessary to make this offence (a) bailable and (b) compoundable to give a chance to the spouses to come together.”
Taking cognizance of the increasing number of false complaints being filed under section 498-A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), the Central Government recently issued directives to the State Governments not to make any immediate arrests but conduct thorough investigations before taking any action. However, it is widely felt that unless women are punished for lodging false complaints, this directive would not help.
- P.RAJENDRAN     www.prajendran.com


  1. I have some questions:

    What is considered to be evidence in a domestic violence case? You've said that 'typically', the woman's account is mere rambling without any evidence. Is it physical injury? Eye-witness accounts? Marital rape [which is not covered under the rape laws in this country]? Domestic violence occurs at several levels- it involves the curtailment of freedom at the physical, emotional, mental and financial level. What if every time I disagree with my husband, I'm slapped a couple of times? What if such sustained behaviour leads me to take action? What evidence can I show if these acts happen behind closed doors [as they often do]?

    We still live in a society where husbands hitting wives is considered to be acceptable and even 'trivial' [I have no idea what the judge meant by 'trivial' issues- but then, we live in a country where judges ask victims if they want to marry their rapists, so this is really a wide area]. Victims have a hard time trying to get people to take their issues seriously because it's mostly seen as a husband-wife problem that nobody else should interfere with. I'm pretty sure that anyone growing up in India would have seen a husband hitting his wife on the streets in the slums. The same happens in the bungalows too.

    I'm not denying that are women who misuse these laws- but the punitive measures for these should be structured very, very carefully. A domestic violence victim often gets very little support from society and if her case can be overturned on its heels against her easily, you can be assured that there will be plenty of misusing of that too.

    I also want to add that the average woman is not some crazy person who willfully destroys her marriage or the life of another person by entering into such false cases. In fact, women tend to stay in such cycles of violence for years before they finally break out of it. I'm adding this because the post suspiciously sounds like every second domestic violence case involves a harassed husband and an evil wife.

    1. The average woman is not, but no one can expect EVERY woman to be so GOOD as to not take advantage of this law. There are cases wherein the wife is on lying about violence. It is a reality that men suffer because it is TOO EASY to LIE and put ppl behind bars.
      BTW, I am a woman myself.
      The writer of the blog clearly states that the law should just be (a) bailable and (b) compoundable.
      You don't just want to protect innocent WOMEN! You want to protect innocent PEOPLE!

    2. that,s very true.not all women are good, similarly ...not all men are bad. I m a woman and presently my sister -in -law has harassed my brother and my parents by lodging a false complaint against them and me too.i m a practicing doctor who has her own family,husband n kid and my social responsibilities.still my sister-in-law stays with her parents at Nagpur and claims that we harrase her,especially me.have I gone mad to leave my responsibilities and participate in the drama she plays always when she comes to my brother's home intermittently.she has done M.Ed and not working...does not even work from home as a tution teacher...no work and only drama is her way of living and my brother or my parents never objected because she always use to threaten them that she would lodge a dowry case and harrasement case.and today she has gone to such an extent that she actually did what she use to say because her husband told her to stay with him and not with her patrents.she snatched their son from my brother's arms with the help of her mother and uncle and ran out of the house.after leaving she immediately lodged a complaint and the police called us.now she has also lodged a complaint at the ngo in gondia Nagpur who have asked us to immediately report there. what will I do....who will take care of my kid ,my husband,my father-in-law and above all my ill patients.she has time to do drama...she has time to visit police station ....she has time to go to ngo....but she never had time for her husband and her in-laws.she says that I should see all this politely...my parents n brother been harassed or else the women welfare committees and ngos will ruin my and mybrother's future.will my brother get justice???? when will women like my sister -in -law get punishment??

    3. Hi, iam D S, FROM KARNATAKA,
      Iam facing a lot of complication from my brothers wife.she is mentaly unstable n one of the good Dr. Has made it very clear she is sick. Dr. Has asked her parents to come to meet them but theyare not ready to come n speak ,coz they dont want to take responsibility of their own daughter and her mother supports her wrong doings. U will be shoked to know she burnt her own daughter's hand in anger when my brother and mother were not around. She even started putting those tablets in my brother's food ,suddenly he started feeling sick then contacted Dr. He made it very clear to speak to a lawyer to protect himself. I stay out his matters but she always abuse my brother n mother in front of them n even every person behind . She is so sick she wish in every marriage if she was marrying that person she would get the gifts bride is getting. Then she imagins my brother is having affare with cousins n babhis...just imagin!! Everyone in family speaks about her itself itseems so hides behind door or widow to listen what others are talking. We are having a mentally sick person living in my mothers house.
      Now iam carrying 8 month n sappose to go to stay at my moms place couple of months n iam scared to go. When iam there she may start fights with my mom n bro n tell all i have started the fights. She is abssesed for male child,if i have male children ,she may hurt them as she dont mind hurting her own daughters. She hits them with slippers hav u ever heard?
      What wrong we daughters have done or our parents and brothers done to go through this without any mistake of us? Mother n brother tolarate us for kids sake. Iam searching for a union to support we daughters who have to go through this who getts to face police,law without any mistake. I wish there is something in law to help us also,not just sick minded sister-in-laws....
      Just check 498a.org fight against missuse of IPC-498A.
      All the best for your fight ,wish u come out of it asap.
      Hope i dont have to face any of this in my stay with my mom.
      God bless us...Daughters.....

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  2. “16.4.4. Less tolerant, impulsive woman may lodge an FIR even on a trivial act. The result is that the husband and his family may be immediately arrested and there may be a suspension or loss of job. The offence alleged being non-bailable, innocent persons languish in custody. There may be a claim for maintenance adding fuel to fire, if the husband cannot pay. She may change her mind and get into the mood to forget and forgive. The husband may realize the mistakes committed and come forward to turn a new leaf for a loving and cordial relationship."

    I want to draw your attention to the way in which this entire paragraph has been phrased. It clearly shows what the mindset is towards domestic violence.

    The woman is characterized as being "less tolerant" [what does that mean?? How tolerating should one be of domestic violence?] and 'impulsive' and that her 'mood' might change later. This is an extremely patriarchal and Freudian way of looking at women as a sex that's purely emotional and does not act with a sound, rational understanding of worldly affairs.

    The husband is 'innocent' but at the same time, he may regret his 'mistakes' and turn over a new leaf (as if this were the plot of a 1980's Tamil movie). Violence is not a 'mistake', it's a crime. And it should be treated that way, even if the woman ends up going back to the cycle.

    Most 'loving and cordial' relationships simmer with resentment and bitterness because women choose to 'compromise' (like this judge is hinting) over walking out. The mindset is that at all costs, the institution of marriage should be preserved. Why should it be that way?

    1. you r saying all this because u have not seen a husband being harassed....a mother-in -law being harresed verbally and physically...a bed ridden father in law not given food or a glass of water too....u are saying what u have seen or experiencened.now take a walk and view other angle too of these written words...I m sure u will have many reasons and excuses to make that lady appear a poor soul...a tortured heroien...and husband n in-laws as villans. but if u stand at my place your heart will ache with pain when u see ur sister-in-law eating a meal and ur ill bed ridden father watching at the plate of food. u might be a lucky daughter who has not seen such a moment....but I have seen it.and I could not do anything because my sister-in law use to threaten us...my brother,my mom and my daughter too ,when I use to visit to see my ill father. all I want to say is
      "its easy to sit in the stadium and comment on the players mistake.....be the one who is actually playing the game". want to see what happens....today go make a false police complaint against your husband for whom u r everything......take away your kid from his father's caring arms...and lodge a complaint of harrasement....and u will see what u lose......u lose all the love ,trust,faith,integrity....just for the sake of his money and property....just because u want to rest and be in bed all the day.....call ur husband a fat black man and serve him a bowl of oil with a spoon or two of dal or vegetable.....buy your cosmetics and easily say that no money was left to buy tonics for our son.....throw a tantrum if you are asked to make food for the in -laws before going out for dinner...and so on...u r standing at a place from where u get just one or may be two views but have presence of mind and walk all around.... u will feel ashamed of urself if u r a woman,when u see that women like my sister-in-law also exists and then u pamper their deeds unknowingly.....use all ur senses and see how some women are destroying the image of a WOMAN....

  3. All agree that the aim of the law isn't bad, its to protect helpless women. But the abuse possibilities are overwhelming, so it defeats the cause.

    1. Although the complaint is filed by the woman, the interpretation of cruelty is upon the justice system which is slow and often perceives that the complain is a result of misunderstanding or exaggerated. The damage is irreversible and ends in divorce.

    2. There are several scams, like many complaints are pre-formatted by wily lawyers and the police that results only in money extortion and eventual dissolution of the case.

    3. Some unscrupulous women or their relatives want to recover the cost of marriage or gifts exchanged. In case the woman is truthful, there is still pressure to demand compensation.

    4. It violates principles of justice and people are rounded up without being given an opportunity of representation and investigation.

    498a has turned into another social evil like dowry, insult, harassment by in-laws. Awareness, Alertness and Anticipatory bail - 3 A's which can prevent you being harassed.

  4. Dear Anonymous and others : "Some unscrupulous women or their relatives want to recover the cost of marriage or gifts exchanged. In case the woman is truthful, there is still pressure to demand compensation."

    - so it is unscrupulous to get a refund of the "cost of marriage or gifts exchanged (aka dowry) " and it is scrupulous to , in the first place "exchange gifts", or to burden one side with the "marriage expenses" ?

    1. To be frank, This law is being misused by parents of women than a women. In most cases...the issue is just wife and husband quarreling with each other, this will resolve in just days or hours or minutes. But real problem comes when a women is listening more to her parents and sisters than understanding her husband.They brain feed her and tell her to come home immediately, and women do as her parents said..just because she is angry and unable to think what she is doing. from there actual scene starts..He parents makes it a big issue and make her to put complaint...till the time comes to know what she did..she loose her husbands love and faith. she will make scarves in her relation. Her parents,brothers,sister just simply forget this all over the time and they all will be happy. The ultimate sufferers are Wife And Husbands. Most of cases happens just with in one year of marriage. Just imagine how much pain they both have to go through just because of those foolish parents. This is not a law its a life spoiler.Even people do Seleucid after all this insult and harassment.

  5. @Anon

    1. That is a problem with the justice system- judges who make statements like the one I quoted above and judges who are entrenched in patriarchal beliefs will continue to interpret cruelty in ways that suit them. That calls for sensitizing and educating them. Yes, it's a long process, but it needs to be done at some point in time. The law is not a 10th std textbook that a student mugs up and the teacher corrects looking at an answer key. It requires intelligence and most importantly, the spirit of justice to execute. The solution is not to burden a woman who has summoned up reserves of courage and mental strength to go against social norms in speaking out by telling her that she could also be arrested for making such a move.

    2. Several scams occur in several types of cases, not just domestic violence. That is once again a problem with the justice system. Why is it that people wish to take umbrage at only domestic violence? Why don't they speak up when it comes to other such scams?

    3. Like the comment above points out- this is clearly a question of dowry. I really have nothing more to add here about 'harassed husbands' and their innocent families.

    4. People are rounded up because the victim could be harmed further if they are let loose. But I agree that here, they should have an opportunity to prove their innocence. However, if there is any loophole in the law that gives leeway for an abuser to bribe a cop and record his statement of innocence and get away, I'm sure it will exploited to the maximum. Because the average cop does not believe domestic violence is a serious issue either.

  6. Sorry for spamming your comments thread, but I searched for 'Harassed husbands' and found an utterly hilarious website for the poor men. Here it is:


    Please read what the harassed husbands have said. For one, his problems began when his wife started working outside of home and didn't look after his child. So the poor harassed husband had to 'tackle' all that. It's okay if he works outside and doesn't look after the child, but his wife simply has to. For another, his wife sends her salary to her parents without his permission!! Truly, what a great harassment. I'm pretty sure he doesn't ask her for permission when spending his salary! Another man has written that his wife used to 'irritate' him with her 'activities' (unspecified) and one fine day, she just took off...god knows what he did when he was irritated.

    Look at post no. 12 on the main page. The man there candidly admits to having hit his wife several times (because she refused to cook, because she refused to do household work, because she refused to indulge in 'marital life).

    Harassed husbands? Really??! These are men writing about their own 'torture' and to anybody with any sense and understanding of justice, it's obvious who the real victims are. I wanted to post this link here so that others, like anon, visiting this page see for themselves what harassed husbands are like by their own admission.

  7. @Mr. Rajendran - Sorry for spamming your comment space.

    @GB - There is a possibility of harassment of husbands by frivolous cases, but such instances would be far and few between and probably limited to sections of society that can afford the luxury of filing such a complaint.

    You have observed the (patriarchal) mindset with which certain judgments have been made. True, but I would like posit that there is no absolute measure of right/wrong- this changes with time and also the cultural context in which it is viewed. One has to necessarily keep this in mind before pronouncing judgement on any action.

  8. There has been numerous instances that women makes unwanted demands to their husband and in many cases that turns out to be arguments over arguments.There is also instances that in-laws make an entry into the life of a married couple and starts dictating on husband. Most of the middle class husband likes to lead a happy family life after office or duty time but can't lead happily because of angry, aggressive and demanding wife. A slight argument later on turn into 498A. This days its husband who suffers most on the hand of so called protected wife. Indian laws appears to be blind on many situations and ultimately punishment goes in favor of wife. Such thing should be stopped.A gentlemen husband once thrashed by the law without any crime could be violent after punishment without crime.

  9. I fully agree with comments posted for harassed husband, only a man who is blindly harassed by his wife can understand the exact situation, I agree that there can be cases where wife is harassed but then why 498A is the only option for females, why only arrest of husband and his family members is the option, why cannot law ask them to live separate for sometime or go to counselor. Using this approach divorce is the only option left where also women has to suffer a lot with court hearings, police, money to fight the cases etc. little argument between husband and wife and due to this 498A just lead to separation only as there is no way left for reconcile, after fighting 2-3 years in court, court says to give a second, please think is there second chance after go though such mental torture of 2-3 years.
    When constitution says every crime needs proofs, and law is blind it can only act on proofs then why no proofs has been asked by women to file a case, how can someone just blindly say something against you (can be influenced) and you (husband) and his whole family arrested, is this is not crulity or harassment given by law

    1. The fake report lodge against a husband on just the bases of fake evidence of the wife.It should be based upon a prof not just upon a verbally or written complaint that the husband or there family member demanded the dowry.
      Prof should be there that what they have given in dowry is not by there on intend it is forcefully taken or forcefully demanded.

  10. Hello GB, I give you one more example of harrassed husband. Can U imagine a wife taking every month 45K from the husband and depriving him of food at her will. Can you further think her offering the Children fruits, dry fruits and all sort of nutritious stuff in front of her husband also also eating the same stuff in his absence and offering nothing to him. Can you imagine the same wife not allowing husband's parents and brothers in his house and inviting almost every year her own relatives. can you imagine her insulting him in front of his own children. have you heard a husband being blamed for the natural death of his father-in-law, when the FIL died at the age of 75 in High fever probably Swine flu in North India, while the Husband was in South India on some official tour. 101% natural death, even God has to admit the natural death, but wife severs relations with her In Laws on the ground that her husband probably caused her father's death. And to further add this the wife does not allow husband to enter the house before 630 PM on the pretext that the kids are sleeping and he does not have any business in the house. And because of her insecure mind and nature she would instigate the children that their father may also mix something in their food or kill them in sleep, she makes it sure that father sleeps in a separate room and the kid every night bolt the room from outside and every morning when every body is awaken, the father's door is unbolted. This is what as a "Harrassed Husband" I am facing because I do not want to spoil the career of my daughter who is targetting IIT 2012 and I do not want to put my aged parents behind the bars just because of your so called 498A, I am enduring a mad wife who does not have any huminity, the madness speaks out of her behaviour which is based on her unconscious mind thinking illogically and the things beyond any one can imagine. THIS IS WHAT A HARRASSED HUSBAND HAS TO FACE. CAN YOU EXPECT SUCH BEHAVIOUR FROM MEN. IF THIS IS THERE THEN IT IS CALLED MADNESS, CRUELITY, DOM3ESTIC VIOLENCE, SO ON AND SO FORTH. GOD BLESS U GB FOR POSTING THE LINK. IF POSSIBLE PLEASE SEND THIS REPLY TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND ASK ALL LAKSHMIS NOT TO HARRASS THEIR HUSBAANDS.


    1. Sir, I feel very sorry for all such husbands harassed by their wives. It is very true that A Woman Can harass her Husband just with her Words & with her actions you can imagine what can happen.And when she acts innocent all people like neighbors, media, Indian laws and society at large, takes her side believing Husband to be an Inhumane Bastard.

  11. dear all today men are more helpless than women, they don't have a right to even protest.
    all the problems are leaded by his in-laws culture, their narrow mined thinking and wrong attitude. there must be some thing required against their these interferes.

  12. It is high time we evaluate and see that it is the power that corrupts nothing else. Thanks to us, the Indian Social System has already got enough complicated.
    Neglect to the need of wisdom has led to non-adherence to the Indian social system which has led to issues arising out laws guarding irrational practices in marriages and all over, since ages. These issues have changed with time and will keep on changing.
    Men and women should get their rightful place. Just as the common work force in India and elsewhere. Anyone person misusing the place will lead to an extreme in times to come.
    Years back men started exploiting women and with time this brought an extreme where women were the victims. Since women were physically weak, the effects were not that visible. Laws were made to tackle it. After which, men too started becoming targets, with this law in place soon men will be the major targets and this will bring the other extreme, but because men are physically stronger the effects will be uncontainable.
    System is not faulty; it is the adherence which is at fault. By system, I mean the age old system which was laid by wise ancestors, yes, I am sounding abstract. But laws and rules are for animals. Living beings gifted with brain and conscious are driven by intellect and guided by wisdom.
    Giving thought to the system that Indians were been inherited is needed to be debated and the right system outlined by the ancestors will resurface.
    West has already done what we are implementing today and so far they have been jubilantly un successful. Mere Intelligence is what we have given enough weightage to. Laden and like ones are the outcomes of the same pursuit. Without wisdom, there is no direction to our evolvement.
    Adherence to the age old raw Indian social system is necessary. We will have to seek wisdom. There is no choice. In every facet of life, wisdom, is and has been the only solution. Sooner or later, in global affairs or household matters, wisdom is the only solution.
    Laws will lead to lawyers not justice.

  13. @GB - you seem to be too much biased against men..all the statements u gave were shredded u took bits and pieces from MyNation.com and tried to justify what in the present scenario is being used by urban women to harass husbands.If u really seek for equality against men in society then u should also see that equal laws be also there for men who along with their family members are harassed just becoz laws are so much pro woman. First fight for an equal and unbiased law for both husband and wife then give justifications.And, this is India few woman use modernization as a tool not to do household chorus then u suggest who will doit? ofcourse husbands should support then what abt husbands who pay for all expenses at home take care of wife and if wife doesn't cook or do house hold chorus then is the husband supposed to do? or he should hire a maid to do all work and spend all his little savings to see he is not put in jail by his inept or selfish wife and her family members.First go and meet the victims of such family who are subjected to such harassment then talk abt equality as mostly its the woman who land up in jail in the face of husband's mother or sister who try to bring things to normal.

  14. अगर आप पीड़ित पतियों कि एक झलक देखना चाहते है तो कृपया एक नजर और अपने कीमती समय से थोडा टाइम निकाल कर कमल हिन्दुस्तानी के इस ब्लॉग पर नजर डाले www.becharepati.blogspot.in और इस ब्लॉग को अपनी राय और आशीर्वाद जरुर प्रदान करें | आपकी अति कृपया होगी धन्यबाद |
    kamalsharma440@gmail.com mobile :- 09034048772

    1. Saale Chutiyeee Kamal....Yahan per sub 498A ke case se lekar pareshaan hai.. or tujhe apni marwane ki laaagi hai... Haramkhor phale reality dekh....ladkiyoon ne 498A ko dhanda banaa rakaha hai...

    2. chutiya kamal nahi tu hai kamine raja hinustani bolta hai apne aap ko. Kamal ka blog bina padhe hi anap sanap bak raha hai

  15. Dear
    can you help by giving information about law &what action taken on this situation.
    my wife is in theinfluence on her mather & father. bcoz of that she always talk about suiside & put all my family member in troble.
    after two year she is not ready to do sex also & not want child.
    she continous harrase me .
    what can i do for my safty point of view?

  16. with all amendments and acts and laws enacted, the government has barged in our private family lives, we have nothing of our own, though we earn it, ten years or something more our tradition of marriages, families etc will dissapear, there will be no takers for marriages, our society will consist of bachelors, bastards and whores

    1. 100% true, indian society will become like that of western society, where a man and woman will sleep with any number of partners, have child out of marriage, etc....and like u very rightly said, we will be surrounded by whores and sluts not prostitures, bastards and bachelors.

    2. The Generations have changes alot. Today generation girls wants only money and happy sex life ( be it with husband or with boy friends) . They want a husband who is well educated and with heavy earning job who must love her parents and avoid his parents . They cannot tolerate if a boy speaks with his own parents or relatives . They cannot tolerate if a boy gives 10rs to his parents or relatives. This generation women are ready to marry a dog if it has money and no parents. Most of girls are guided by their mothers .

  17. Women who want money can go to any extent to torture their husbands, they will not even state what they want, every failed marriage is the husbands fault and he should be tortured (torturing men is never wrong, violating their rights is never wrong).
    It is very expensive to hire a good lawyer, so how should an ordinary man who is harassed by his wife get justice. That is impossible. The lawyers extract your money, your wife extracts your money and the whole society points fingers at you without looking at the facts, so the only way out for men is to become slaves of their wives or be treated worse than criminals.

    1. you are right !! I am a woman and I totally believe you ..This is exactly the state of our society ..but you need to be strong man .... Take it as a fight for freedom ..Its never easy. Please take care I know of many men who died because of this. Please take care of yourself. Even if one million idiots don't understand you, you will many intelligent people who will understand your situations.They are the only people who matters .Search for them

  18. This is true. This is happening to me. My wife and her relatives harass me and my father everyday with verbal and metal tortures.
    Even they claim that i had other affairs and as well my dad. one day they even accused that my father attempted to rape my wife. We all keeping calm because for my only 2 yr old son. He is the only happiness to me and my father. My mother died 5 months back. Also they blackmail us saying they are going to file a dowry case and sexual harassment case.. we do not know what to do. My wife demands money for her brother's house construction. She is not cooking, taking care of my son. Every day I and my father used to bathe/feed/takecare of my son. she simply goes to her brother's house(near by) and comes in the evening. I donot know what to do. Please help.

    1. Hi PK!!!

      I am really sorry to hear this .I know a person who was going through the same torture.He talked to a lawyer and he asked him to put a video recording device at many places in the house.He recorded everything and was granted a divorce without any hassle. Our judges are not blind and deaf. If you don't get the justice in local court.Have faith in state level court and than supreme court. Our judges are intelligent. Its only till the time the cases are kept away from court that people are able to harass a man. And please don't be so helpless about your son .He is your son and always keep him with you.
      All the best to you !!!!

  19. If women are equal to men, then Indian laws should also be same for both. now it is 99% biased for women. men always become slaves to their wives' and her relatives. Women have the weapon of suicide / dowry / sexual harassment.
    Now, our parliament is going to pass the bill.. that on divorce, husband has to give his 50% of the asset to wife. bull shit.

  20. My wife harasses me:
    (1) Not cooking
    (2) Not allowing me to play/talk with my kid.
    (3) Always yelling at my father and sister(she is mentally retarded)
    (4) blaming me for her father's natural death.(that time i was in USA and i flew all the way to India for his cremation. And lost the job in USA.)
    (5) Aborted 2nd baby with her brother's wife influence.
    (6) Not allowing for sex
    (7) while passing along me or my father in the house, scolding commonly and speaking in bad words.
    (8) one day i slapped her twice ( as she did scolded my father in bad words) and she narrated that i was trying to do sexual harassment and beating her for the dowry.
    (9) Threatens of suicide
    (10) also threatens of dying with my son.
    (11) Also she has written a letter and gave it her brother that i and my father are responsible for her death( in case if she dies )
    (12) demands money
    (13) even one day she took my son and tried giving him phenoly and she tried to drink for committing suicide.
    I am the only son to my father and all his and my earnings are only to me and my wife. I gave her all the freedom, luxury and money. still she is under the influence of her mother and brother. I am not able to pull my wife from them. Do not know what to do.

    God have to help me.

    1. Hi,

      Please talk to a lawyer. Do not suffer. Dont take anything unfair. You are the man of the house . Save your parents and kids . ask her to leave you house and spread this information amongst your neighbors and everyone who knows you. Please do not tolerate any form of harrassment.The people who tolerate harassment encourages it. Dont give here anything no freedom, no money and definitely no luxury . Are you a fool ? Go to your nearest police station and complain about these suicide attempts .They will put her in jail for killing her son and herself . There is no god, who will come to help you.God didn't create marriage, so god doesn't have any hand in it. Humans created it and its only the humans who need to fix it . Stop being so sissy and helpless .Take things in your hands, get your friends together and ask them to stand by you . Put video camaras in your house, record everything and file a case in court. Comeon man !! you can't be so helpless .. All the best !!!!

  21. To GB I am a man, I did not take dowry, I did not say a single wrong word to my wife, if my wife harasses me what should I do, I am harassed, I had to quit my job because of the harassment from my wife and the people she ganged up with, my life is not worth living anymore. where can I get justice, the whole society fucks mens lives , it fucks the lives of all the people in the mans family, why not shoot all the men.. will the problem be solved?. some women will go to any extent to harass their husbands. the Indian law encourages women to harass their husbands and their family. the thought of being able to extract money will make the women greedy and they will go to any extent and extort and harass. every argument can be harassment. so if a women starts the argument what should the man do. should he just take everything. even divorce is not possible in shithole third world gutter smellhole dirthole India. Indian law is a harassment. Even a criminal is treated better than a man whose wife files a case for no reason. Indian law is worse than hitlers law. Indian law commits crime on innocent men. The politicians who steal millions of dollars dont suffer even a bit of what a man who is in bad terms with his wife suffers.

    1. Heyi hi,

      YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT !!! It is absolutely fucked up... but you need to live .Please live for the other people who are suffering for the same reasons.They need you. Just keep your head and encircle the name of those who have made you suffer . You need to live to take the sweet revenge .If you die we will all loose .. Please live and be strong and strive to become stronger .. You will have many many friends .Letme assure you that ...

      Lots of love and good wishes !! BYe

    2. Hello Friends, Its totally women favored laws in India. Favoring women, even if they are wrong. It is leading towards more harassment of men. Or when some men will be tortured to the extreme, it will lead to murders and suicide as it happened sometime back in Delhi metro double murder (wife and father in law) case and then suicide by the men himself. You can imagine....where we are moving by making laws only favoring women, not to proper justice. !!! Please change this....govt's decision to amend divorce law is even worse in which a women will automatically become 50% partner in parents property too. It will lead more harassment of men or if man is unable to bear this it may lead to suicide or murders or both.

  22. Hello ,
    i am writing this with frustration. i dont know what to do.
    My wife is very short tempered and finds mistakes with my mother. Today it went to an extreme . She has asked me to stop talking to my parents. She has refused to attend my sister's wedding . She is threatening that i should listen to her if i need to live with her. She also says she will humiliate me in front of my office colleagues.

    I am very much affected due to this . She also hits and beats me when i go to her and say sorry for my mother's wrongdoing (if any).

    How do i come out of this situation????

  23. Hell dear brothers, I am married to a poor malu girl from bangalore, her parents are from a village in kannur, my father in law is to be elitrate so being a hindu he used to fallow christnity, He died some yrs back, then my mother in law was alone so my wife stayed in my inlaws house after my FIL'S death. My wife used to always talk great about her father,brother,brother's friends and her mother, I was fedup of hearing about my inlaws greatness all the time. now iam blessed with two kids they are growing up, since 2005 we are not having any kind of relationship, but I used to stay with my wife and kids in my mother in laws place in my vacation.
    last year when I was abroad my wife came to my mother's place when nobody was there at home she took door keys from neigbours house and opened almirah and took all the property papers,cash and the gold, when I came back from abroad she refused to accept me. one day I went to speak to my wife then there was a argument regarding the things she has stolen from my mothers place, she refused to give the things she has taken, later on her mother came and started shouting at me and she abused and sleepered me, later my brother in law came he hit me and later they went to the police and lodged a false complaint on me and they had asked for police protection. Now I can't go and see my children, they not even speak to me on the phone, I am totally disturbed and sick and sleepless, I lost all my hardearned money and saving. what should I do please advise.

  24. This is XXX age 30 and my wife is 26. I have one year old daughter. I am the earning person in my family, As i need to take care of my parents and my wife and kid. My parents lives in Chennai and I work in mumbai, I am suffering with my wife, she is creating me mental torture, she is scolding me with bad words, Unnecessarily she is blaming me. She is throwing off utensils, she is damaging my family relations, She is telling that to leave my parents alone, She is telling all the bad thing about me to their relative and every one. She is sleeping in Hall and not in bed room with me. If i tell all this thing to her parents they are not lisitening my words instead they are givind me warning if anything happens to her daughter they will spoil my life and my parents. Once her father came to beat me in my house in front of my wife.my wife is scolding my 1 yr old daughter without any reason infront of me. Their parents are giving warnings to my parents saying that they will get 400 rowdies and spoil our family. They are telling that they will put all cases on us and they wanted to put us in jail.My wife parents are very Rich they are very strong. We are middle class. She is blmaing my father with sex abuse, my wife is postgradute and she is house wife currently. I dont have energy to face all this mental torture. Please suggest me what should i do. I am not able to express my feelings i am in need of help. I am planning to suicide and i am thinking of my parents that the only reason i am still alive. Please help me

  25. Part-1
    hi folks,

    I do not know where to start its been 8 years now struggling and suffering with the daily issues its not even one single day that my wife had not gone into argument in somthing or other reason ,reason even for small small things which are never there or can be avoided.My parents are staying at my hometown and dosent bother us in any way they are financially indepndent and dosent ask anything from me.Then also my wife is never ready to go to my hometown even for holi or diwali and if she goes there then she does something that there are arguments and fight everytime i try to keep calm but she pinches my until i burst out then also i always go to her and say sry for my outburst but she puts all blaims to my parents and accuses her that she dose not want her to live happy with you(myslef)and she always try to break our marriage and she shouts like anything she scold our 6 yrs daughter and she does not allow daughter to talk to me or my parents.She always claims that she loves me very much but every 2/3 hrs she says bad to me she fights with me for any damn shit reason.I am doing everything to keep her happy and she accuses me for mental torture physical weakness and blaw blaw.Even for her none of my friends are good my parents are not good my siblings are selfish my colleagues are coward neighbours are bad even her sisters cousins are all bad and selfish.She claims that her father even was not good and not allowed her do anything and just forced her to marry she is very close to her mother and she claims that her grand parents are not good they have take all property from her father and even her cousin uncles are also selfish.
    Even though I try to calm her everytime and support her whenevr she wants to do anything for her parents and sisters and whenever she wants money or want anything she is very cool and calm and does sex even but when her work is over she is agin in same mood she is so negative she throws food in the dustbin her kitchen is so dirty that no body else wants to enter the kitchen many times my friens have refused to eat at my home making some reasons. Everytime we go out she accuses my friends and says her wife is a witch she was saying this that and cooking all sort of stories.She says i do not want to do this household kitchn work dosent want to cook i want do something...initially i thought that may be coz of infriority complex or she could not do watever she wanted to do are the affects of her actions.But i tried my level best to let her do watever she wants to do be it working/teaching/dancing etc but she makes something or the other execuses that she does not want the daughter to live alone at home she is very concerned about her and my health and finally ends up doing nothing other then accusing me and my parents.Even my father is hospitalized and was in ICU when returned from hospital i requested her not to be loud and plz bear until my father is well and returned but then also she speak louds false words and not allowing my mother to touch anything and even not allowing her to pray in home temple.My mother is also 60+ and says she is so hurt and does not want to stay with me even my father but i requested them that yr health is one thing whihc is my priority.

  26. part-2

    Even at home my parents are staying like guest not allowed to enter in kitchen if they watch tv she power off the tv and scold the daughter not to even touch or go in that room where my parents are staying....I am just too much frusturated she threatens me that "main tumko aukat dikha dungi tumhari agar mujhse alag hone ki sochi bhi aur pure khaandaan ko band kar wa dungi".
    she always threatens me of her father who is govt lawyer in UP and says ki papa jab itne logon ko jail bhijwa dete hain to ye to unki beti ka mamla hai woh to sab ko barwaad kar denge.
    And says ki tumko to kuta bana dungi samjh main jayagea ki kis se pala pada hai aise aise case karungi ki zindagi bhar jail main sadoge......
    I am not able to concentrate on my work dosent feel like going home had intimated several times to her parents but they also accuse my parents ki woh rishta todna chate hain ...i do not have any hope from anybody....she plays so many tricks with me and all who are concerned to me,now i cant share this to my parents friends or anybody ...i feel lonely and afraid and my mind is so puzzled due to this at the age of 34 i am diabetic now.
    Please suggest what to do....going legal is always an option but i do not have faith in juridiction coz i know her father can play with laws like anything...suggest please...

  27. i am very suffering from my wife she tortured me everytime quarreled with me and always lie and says she will register a case on us for dowry and slapped me and my mother . i want divorce but she didnt ready for divorce also what should i do .can i do suicide so that she away from my house

  28. I am living in US my husband and in laws have been harrassing me they have reached to a peak ..he has seized my passports, greencard, my kids passports, poi, documents and drivers license.
    He has taken money,gold and all other valuables. He is refusing to give them I made friends to ask. He sent my daughter to school for 10 days and stopped her school. My in laws have girls discrimination. I came to US after my brothers marriage in Feb to give him a final chance, he does not bring any food
    except vegetables, milk and rice. My kids have become crazy and are eating by asking in their friend home i want bread i want cereal i want this ....He is greatly influenced by his family members .... They are very money minded .... My kids 6 and 4 in august are getting deeply affected ...how do I get my legal documents ...What should I do he hit me ....he tells lies and acts and records ...He is putting electronic things in home robbing all the items ...how do I approach ...he has stopped the mail..did a forgery sign to move out of the lease. Please help me

  29. Hi,

    Just before our marriage, my wife's sister has ran away with one local goonda for whom this is the third marriage. My in-laws and my wife has cried infront of me and requested me to not to take back my word of getting married to my wife. And they said that they won't accept that goonda to come to their home. Immediately after our marriage they brought them to their home and currently they are staying at their home. I requested my wife to not to go to my in-laws house since a culture less broot who plays with the girls life is there in their home. Now we just completed one year of our married life. From the past 6 months, Once in a week atleast she threatens me that she would give complaint against me and my parents since we are not allowing her to go to their home. That goonda influenced my inlaws and even my Uncle started giving me warnings without any reason. I am giving all sorts of things to my wife. But she along with their father and mother are mentally killing me from all the ends by threatening me that they will lodge a complaint against me....I am going mad. I can't send my wife over their atleast I don't want to accompany her since my inlaws and even my wife has loosen their words on me and my family members badly. Please help me by giving some advise...

  30. Jobless people sitting in the Govt are making newer laws and giving more power to unscrupulous woman making life of innocent men hell. Instead of enforcing the existing laws, everyday newer ones are generated making more loopholes for characterless, evil people to misuse it. The existing laws if properly enforced will resolve almost all the issues. Most of these stupid laws are made keeping the illiterate, poor, helpless woman in mind, but these laws never ever help them or reach them. Root cause analysis RCA is just to be read in the books. Don't know what more to scribble, just want to advice innocent men to be careful from day 1 of marriage else better to stay bachelor for life, the future is going to be even worse for men, one day he will end up on the footpath after losing everything to his wife who committed adultery and is enjoying her life with multiple men.

    1. True !!! I agree with you...women are misusing it and govt keep on making these these laws stricter.

  31. 1. AFter marriage we went to our village, I was speaking with my mother, she was crying inside room, I called her many times to come out but he refused and continued crying, reason is I should not sit close to my mother and I should always be with her, she cried whole night even my parents begged her and all the neighbours came and asked for the reason- This is the first incident

    2. While coming back My work location again she was cryng and even I informed her parents who were sitting beside our bogi, after 1-2 hours she became normal.

    3. My parents came to My work location for the occasion of our first Divali, at that time it was a big issue for the reservation, Going in lift, Laxmi pooja, tried For suicide and all neighbours came, silly reason I support my parents.

    4. We went to purchase a Refrigerator, then she scolded inside the Pie Electronics and Big Bazar to purchase costly one.

    5. I went My Native as my father was seriously not feeling well at that time she Called me more than 100 times and I told her the situation eventhough she was
    Shouting and crying I only care my parents

    Note: I went to Colombia Asia hospital 2-3 times, I went to Saptagiri Hospital, I went to Skin care hospital, Almost every weekend either we went to movie or Piza hut or friend's functions (tumkur), Her sister marriage occassion many
    things I did with lot of care and Love, recently I went some places with her relatives happily, Whenever I will be with her relative she will be very happy, I have been to her parents’ home 4-5 times in a month from The beginning.

    Whenever her family function (During her sister marriage) I told I will come late to Choutry, She cried and came to normal position immidiately but when my parents comes it wil become hell for whole day night.

    6. My parents came to My work location and unfortunately my father was attacked by viral fever and Admitted to hospital, She asked me 100 times u cares ur parents not me. I was going to hospital with my mother on her bike, suddenly she saw us and was shouting like anything on road and again she came back to hospital by Auto and shouted a lot and her parents also came and her father
    slapped her and himself with his sandles infront of hospital.

    7. We went to My Native for my brother's marriage, again same thing finally I take her to Golagumbaz and she cried and shouted for 2 hours because I care my
    parents and my mother neglected her.

    8. My mother alone came My work location in the month of May from the Day one she was
    shouting like anything reasons are Home is becoming dirty, she cooks with dirty, she does not cook well, she makes wash room dirty so on, every min I was feeling like torcher. She scolded my mother with very bad words 'Daridra' 'Soole' 'Nachike Bittavalu' 'Kari' 'Poor fellow' so on. I beated her after listning these words and even she started to beat me. My mother went away withing 10 Days.

    Before one day arrival of my mother she asked me several times to scold my mother for everything say cooking, cleaning, but I refused to scold and beat my mother, she started shouting and crying loudly I beated her once after loosing my patience she went outside and started crying and neighbours came and scolded both of us to leave room.

    9. Whenevr in absence of my parents she always torcher me by comparing others, Saying like she did a big mistake by marrying me, She always uses bad words, It hurts a lot.

    10. Whenever we both are together she ask me to go her parents home when I refuse it she scolds a lot because of this reason I also go to her parents home every week at least once.

  32. 11. I asked her to give me respect as all Indian women calls her husband but she scolded like anything what the hell you have poor fellow, and she said I am not deserve for it. However I neved cared about it.I said her as your wish

    12. Whenever She wants to purchase some dress or cosmetics if I refuse to give money or card, She scolds like anything, So till now whatever she asks I never argue and try to convience her by saying next month. (You check my credit card
    statement every month there will be at least 2-3 thousand for her dress, Sandles, Cosmetics so on)

    13. From last 2 years We were happy for starting only 3 months and later always she initiates the issues and cries and shout and try for suicide.

    14. Everyday she asks me 10-30 times did your parents called you ? I will get angry for the same qns and again I have to say and again starts

    15. She trhrown her plate when me and my mother having lunch, after completing her lunch. reason is she does not wanted me to take lunch.

    16. 'Rangoli' issue became a big issue. She scolded my mother like anything

    17. From the beginning she never woked up before me and I was taking only 1 time diner in home, She wakeup after 11 AM every weekend and she leaves college and sleep.

    18. She said she will sleep with her friend after fight, But sexually we are very happy, 100 % I satisfy her everytime. She sent Friend request in FB and she always says me I will spend time with him.

    19. I promise that till now how many times we fighted is she only initiated and started.

    1. i am also suffering exactly same please tell me what solution you found in this situation.please tell me. rajeevsharma0@gmail.com09712463396

  33. 20. Can you imagine the same wife not allowing husband's parents and Sistr in his house and inviting almost every month her own relatives

    21. For every matter she always talk about suiside & put all my family member in trouble and She said most of the time I just need to do 'Antim Samskar' if my father died and again I should come back to her to get torcher for cancelling her marriage. She wants to take revange.

    22. while passing along me or my father/mother in the house, scolding commonly and speaking in bad words.

    23. one day i slapped her twice ( as she did scolded my motherin bad words) and she narrated that i was trying to do sexual harassment and beating her for the dowry and called neighbourers

    24. Later she will say I wil die and whole family wil be jail

    25. Some times she demands money which I can never adjust after selling myself also.

    26. I am the only son to my parents and my earnings are only to me and my wife. I gave her all the freedom, luxury and money. But she will be happy while making shoping later again same fightings.

    27. I am a man, I did not take dowry, I did not say a single wrong word to my wife, if my wife harasses me what should I do, I am harassed.

    28. After geting boared of this life if I switch off my mobile she threats me she will call to my couliges and manager, If I go friend room she calls like mad and says to come home, If I go home again fighting, I am fed up

    29. We both were loving each other from the college days, There were also few fightings between us specially I have not told my love story to my parents. this is the main reason, Later she got engaged with someone, But I have cancelled the engagement, Now she is takig revenge on me after I got marry her.

    I am eally fedup, I don't know how the hell I adjusted 1.8 years daily fight arguments, If I suggest something threatning for Jail, Dowry case etc. I got married to lead a peaceful life but I realized that it's not at all possible so I have decided to go away from her life. I was waiting whether she may get well soon, But whatever I did to change her is a waste effort form last 20 months and now i have decided to move away.

    Please help me how to come out of this. I have all the Audio records how she behaves and how fighting starts from last 3 months, will it helpful?

  34. It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.Vishwambhar das shastri ji.+91-9166654466.http://lovemarriagesolution.org when you take serivce than you will free of your problems.
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  35. i am very suffering from my wife she tortured me everytime quarreled with me and always lie and says she will register a case on us for dowry and slapped me and my mother . i want divorce but she didnt ready for divorce also what should i do .can i do suicide so that she away from my house

  36. Hi, I can understand your problem, May I know what is the reason for torture and reason for querrel, Is this an arrange marriage? Please don't even think of suicide, it's not a solution, you should teach a lesson, If things go very bad go for contest divorce, you have face it, for every problem there is solution.

  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

  38. I too faced the same problem of a false dowry harassment case was filed against me and my family and they threatened me and got 14 lakhs as her maintenance by her family to withdrew all the cases. Her family totally misused the law but nothing was there to protect me or my family. Now she realised her mistakes and ran from her criminal family and we both are living separately and also she is now pregnant for 3 months but her criminal family is not giving the money back. there is no law in India and justice is not served properly. People say under law both men and women are same but why not in such cases were her criminal family has escaped with my money. She says that i should not file any case her criminal parents.

    1. You are a fool to have let your goonda wife who tortured ur family & you with false dowry harassment. Just bcz she cries & say that she has realized her mistake, you forgive all the torture that she put you through. It's not fair at all.Not fair

  39. This comment has been removed by the author.

  40. Making frivolous complaints should be a punishable act.

  41. I respect all girls but as a brother I want to say don't file any case against her husband or his family member. Just give divorce to your spouse and start again to live your happy life. This 498a and other law will not be helpful to you but spoil your remaining life. Eventhough you are true victim, leave you cruel husband but don't go court. My sister and me both are suffering for this 498a. Before 7 years my sister had filed 498a against her husband but till date don't get justice. Instead of justice her husband and her inlaw reached to my inlaws house and abet them and my wife to file 498a against me and my family. So I am falsely accused in 498a. I am able to prove my innocence in few hours but our judicial system I have to suffer many years. My marriage solemnized in May 2011. Baby girl born on May 2012. After 20 days of baby birth my sister's inlaw reached to my wife's home and abet my wife & inlaws so when after 2 months of baby born I reached to my wife's home to fatch her & my daughter. They wanted my baby will live there. They will sent my wife only without my daughter. I refused their proposal so they sent both but next day morning her father sent police to my home by making complaint on 100 number on behalf of my wife. It is difficult to husband to get divorce but easy for girl so any girl wish to file case Eventhough she is victim don't do just leave your husband otherwise your life will be spoiled. I am 40 years old and my case will run about 7 to 8 years then after I will be 48 or 50, then what will be my life and what will be my daughter's future & life. Should I fatch my wife for remaining 10 years of my life?

  42. It has taken me a long time to find the courage to lodge this formal complaint against my wife to Human Rights Commission but yet to get any reply from there, but I can’t take her abuse anymore. My wife has been emotionally abusing me for the past four years.

    In 2008 we have got married. From the beginning she had been continuously complaining against my parents, that they have misbehaved with her. I hadn’t found any appropriate reason for that. However, when I was looking for a well solution for the same, I have got a job in a construction company and had to go for outstation (I am now residing in Gujarat since July’2008).

    My father is 71 and patient of throat cancer, my mother is 58 and now unable look after my father as she is suffering from high blood pressure, blood sugar and going through stroke for once. It is my bad luck that, I am unable to help any more.

    Here (in Gujarat) I am living with my wife, and able to go my home once in a year for about fifteen days only (at West Bengal), but the problem is remain same. She is always protesting me to talk my parent over telephone or visit to my home. She use to check my phone call regularly whether I have made any call to my parents or any relative or friend who she always dislikes. Her parents use to come here every year; however my parents came only once and got a bitter experience (on that period, she misbehaved with them extremely) and according the position I am not dare to request them to come again. Since then, I have been spending with intolerable mental condition. She has been obstructing me to contact you or go to home by various ways for the past one and half years.

    From the beginning whenever I try to protest, she always quarrel and frequently threatened to commit suicide or go to police alleging false case, which might be resulted jail for both my parents and me, as she is very much aware about the present law favoring for a woman in many ways. I have been trying to adjust the situation from the beginning with extreme negotiation but now keeping patient is almost impossible for me. She use to talk with her mother every now and then to irritate me. Her mother always encourages her and dares to complain about me to one of my senior colleagues over telephone also. I have been spending so many sleepless nights. I have no idea whether she unable to adjust with me or intentionally doing the same for any reason, which is unknown to me.

    Please let me know if I may be got any assistance from your end.

  43. we are living away from our in laws house from beginning of our marraige because of our jobs. (Me & my husband both are working couple). My cosister who stays with my inlaws regularly harassed my in laws and her own husband and has put several cases against them. We visited our in laws quite less because of her. But now she has put a criminal case against everyone including my husband stating he harassed her mentally. What shall I do? I am scared, she can put another case against me, even though I have stopped speaking to her or meeting her several years ego. How shall I help my husband? My cosister (who has lodged complaint against every one) has become widow recently.

  44. Dear All.

    The same situation is mine. I was married in 2007. I have old mother and one small daughter of 5 years. I dont drink, smoke dont have any bad habits. But I have one policy is that prevention is better than cure. In this issue I take care of the family very possessively and guide my wife to take all the precautions to maintain the house like that. Look after the house, keep the values in the society, be hygienic. But she want to live as she lived in her parents. she dont want to accept the advice's. On this everyday there are misunderstandings and she goes to heated argument with my mother and me. Now her parents also supporting her. She goes to very heated argument and she provokes me to loose my patience. She donot stop even if I request her also. What to do. Iam not able to understand.

  45. Dear All,

    I have been married since 14/11/11 & we have a son who is 17 months old my wife has a problem with my family and she always abuses them and provokes me to loose my patience we are not living with my family but when ever we visit my father house to stay for a couple of days she has a problem all my sisters are married & living independently they hardly visit us but my wife has an illusion that my sisters call me everyday & listen to them and argue with her which is not true & she always torture me that she would lodge a complaint against me & my family for dowry harassment she has no respect for elders & her parents are not bothered to guide her to lead a happy married life she does not want to listen to them when I Call her parents & speak to them to tell them about her behavior or ask them to come and talk to her no one is bothered to come and talk they always tell me to take care. whenever there is an argument or fight between us I always consider our elders (both Families)to make both of understand but she is against that & when the argument starts the kid starts crying and she takes advantage of that and starts hitting me when I am taking care of the kid and in self defense i also have to hit her & she tells me to divorce her but i am stuck because of the kid please suggest me whom should i approach

  46. Please all come along with me in Supreme court New Dlehi, Same has happned with younger brother who is Doctor M.B.B.S M.D, short story of FIR that my brother and 70 & 75 yrs ill & old parents visited parental home of sister in law and demanded dowery on non furnishing of dowery demand all three had strangulated her through her dupatta at 11 P.M, although mother is suffering dybeteies, high blood pressure, cataract in both eyes can not see more than 2 mtres away during sunny day, parents are residing in village of other district which is approx. 70 kms. away from their residence brother is doctor in govt. hospital of New Delhi which is 650 kms away from wife residence, it happened because one brother is lawyer in high court and other brother is section officer in district court of the city where they reside few judges roll in whole case is also suspicious complete fake story of FIR, forged medical report (injury report prepared by doctor of district hospital, sections 498a, 307,504,506,3/4 D.P act, any how we could get a bail of old parents from high court after 100 days, because willingly rejected bail by district judge of 70 & 75 years ill & old parents, because whole conspiracy is planned under influence of CJM who is very close to this cunning family only the motive to extort money she is not interested to live with my doctor brother.She is enjoying her life in scooty after sending jail to old people. contact me immediately on# 9214418151

  47. Dr Lawrence saved my marriage within 3days of contact,i contacted him in regard of my husband who left me for another woman i tried all the methods i know to get him back but to no avail then a good friend of mine Mrs maria introduce me to drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com who cast a powerful and wonderful spell that brought him back to me in just 3days i really want to use this medium to advice that for solution regarding any relationship issues contact the temple and all your worry s will be gone: drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

  48. Hi Friends

    Even my sister is harassed by his husband ,but now my sister is staying in my house.she is scared of staying with him...Actually i want to complain on this issues to police will it work please suggest how to proceed.

    1. MY sonia is back to me after a very long time which i an my ex separated since i was alone my life change every thing about me change a friend of mine gave me an email address and told me that this was the email address she contacted when she was in the same problem so i contacted the email i got a reply he ask me to send him my number so i did he was a man call priest grace he caster a spell for me and told me that within THREE day that my ex we be back for good within that three days my ex was back, i and my ex are getting married. next week, you contact him at gracerelationshipspell@gmail.com once again thank you priest grace a God to me

  49. Hello,

    Since there are many cases of harasement to husbands which cannot be visible because so many men do not want to get shown his personal things to put up with the family/friends and society

  50. For Tanveer Ahmed - Put hidden camera and record her activities when she does the wrongful. Than present in front of judge, it will help you and can provide immunity from false case.

    1. For the gentleman who advised Mr. Tanveer Ahmed -


      My 4 year old marriage has broken down because my husband, apart from abusing me emotionally and mentally, and making me provide for him and his household financially, was constantly trying to prove that I am mentally insane and get me locked up in a psychiatric facility (which I definitely wasn't but I did go into depression trying to figure out his motive for saying so when I was doing everything possible to save our marriage, especially for the sake of our 7 month old baby daughter, including calling my family members, his family members, religious leaders, etc. to counsel both of us, but he would only tell everyone lies - till date I do not know what he really wants - apart from money of course!).

      I caught him a couple of times trying to video record me when I was sick and having palpitations due extremely stressful situations that occurred because of fights he would cause at home despite making me work 2 jobs to earn more money - I caught him filming me with an expensive high-end cellphone that I had only gifted him. I could not do anything as I was panting and breathless and needed medical help, but he merrily went clicking snaps and video-recording, thinking I am unconscious, instead of calling a doctor.

      Later when I asked my father to confront him regarding the video-recording as to why he was doing that, he flatly denied it but apparently bought a high end miniature video recorder.

      I discovered it by accident one night after I had returned from work late at night and was breast-feeding my baby. He was lying next to the baby on the bed and it fell out of his pocket. He snatched it from my hand and threw it from the balcony window.

      I was so desperate and clueless as to why he was going about spending so much money on expensive gadgets to record me when he wouldn't even pay 400Rs for our baby's doctor's consultation. I was working 18 hours a day at the time (I am really not exaggerating) and taking care of a 7 month old and trying to make my marriage work despite my husband's problems and I was clueless as to why my husband was trying to prove I am insane and filming me secretly for that.

    2. Part II:

      I was so desperate and miserable that night that I tried to jump out of the balcony (6th floor apartment) and if it had not been for my mother who was staying with us that night and who yelled and hearing the commotion some slum dwellers came and yanked me off the balcony. My husband instead of saving me when he saw that I was about to jump, ran away to my father's house and asked him to protect him telling him falsely that I am trying to implicate him in a false case. The police were summoned, I was questioned, they even asked me lodge a complaint against my husband, but even in that desperate situation I saved him - you see, I was very committed to our marriage and did not even think of my life.

      Yet my husband did not repent what he did and deserted me and our baby after that incident. He did not apologize, later when he came back after I begged his uncles to make him understand, he said that was the best way to punish me and he would do that again if he could. He even made me sign an undated suicide note stating that in future if something happens to me he is not be blamed.

      I am an engineer by profession and I still do not know why I gave in to all these demands of his when in hindsight now they clearly seem dangerous to my life.

      There is a lot more to tell but I do not think that will help. I am separated from my husband from more than 6 months now - I had to lose my stable job because of all my domestic issues and after I realized that my baby's life would be in danger, I just fled with my child.

      I have still not filed any case against my husband - most of the people that I have spoken to since advise me to, especially people from a legal background - and these are not shady lawyers looking to make a quick buck nor any greedy relatives. I am contemplating what action to take now, to protect my baby and me from my husband and his family, who strangely support this behavior of his.

      I am still trying to understand why my husband wanted to me mentally insane and was video-recording me.

    3. Part-III:

      Looking at your advice to more than one person on this blog, namely to "put hidden cameras and record the wife's activities", I think I understand. My husband recently confessed that he had approached a lawyer and the lawyer had advised him to video-record any incidents or fights to prevent his wife from filing a false case. I know that my husband would not typically engage a lawyer since they cost money and he is a very BIG MISER. But he is very adept at going online and seeking help there. So it may have been the advice he saw here or on a similar blog that he used and applied to our marriage and as a result our family is broken.

      I do not think that you realize when you post such horrendous advice that there are a lot of men (maybe women too) out there who are naive and easily impressionable. They may use your advice in the same manner that my husband did and wreck their own families. But then of course, you will never claim liability. Nevertheless such advice has wrecked my marriage and my baby's future.

      I personally do not think that some of these husbands who are accusing their wives here are telling the whole story. I am pretty sure that some of them would not want to go to a professional unbiased counsellor and discuss things with their wives - I speak from my own experience because my husband does the same thing, he never sits with me and counsellors or mediators. When I ask him to sit with a neutral experienced third person and discuss he always refuses or absconds but he goes to them without my knowledge and gives them a one-sided version. He will go to online blogs and forums and give a one-sided version too and gentlemen like yourself will advice him to take secret videos.

      Anyway, what more can a woman and a mother do to save a marriage - as long as you gentlemen look at things from your own skewed sense of reality, there is really no hope for girls or women in our great country. When I was growing up, my parents worked very hard to give me a good upbringing and a fantastic education so I would be independent and able to look after myself and my own family (my kids and spouse). I was never made to feel that I was weak or was lacking anything just because I was a girl. But looking at things today, I really do not know what the future will hold for my baby girl - given all the senseless male domination that I faced at my husband's hands just because I was a woman, I have lost a lot of confidence and I just pray that I am able to raise my daughter to be confident, fearless and independent too. But now I fear gentlemen like you and her own father, rather your mindset.

      I only hope somewhere your conscience is touched, that this terrible advice of yours has the potential to ruin families and marriages and lives. But I doubt if you have a conscience.

  51. I have to say wholeheartedly I believe that Dr Lawrence is a very gifted individual and gentility his second nature. I have received the most rewarding and spiritual experience whilst conversing with him on the telephone. I heard and saw an angel in my minds-eye it was so overwhelming. I knew at that moment finally my difficulties were over. He deserves recognition for his powers and talents as a beautiful individual who brings spirit close to those in need. I have been touched deeply; nothing has come as close to me before. I am in total awe and have a great deal of respect. Thank you Dr Lawrence for reuniting me with my husband. email drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

  52. My name is Linder , i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back
    my boyfriend after 8months of separation, I and my boyfriend broke up on
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  53. I have been married for 16 years now. My wife always tortures me by demanding many things,by comparing others.she keeps changing the house often and with the influence of her mother and father she threatens me of dowry harassment,false extra marital affairs, physical torture etc. we have two sons-she preaches bad opinion about me to them, children knows all the fact about me.always ill treats my parents and give top priority only to her parents and relatives.she has plenty of boy friends who come home and stay overnight. i am very much irritated.they call it 'social'. Now in search of freedom and instigated by her parents she has left the house with my children and has changed children school. and instructed my children not to interact with me if I contact them she has changed her name also.
    after all these, she has sent me a lawyer notice claiming 40000 /Rs as monthly maintenance, otherwise file a complaint against me.
    can anyone suggest me how I can deal with it ??

    1. See these days Women are very simple to understand.
      They compares with every one, They search your mobile phone contacts and messages . They want her parents should be happy forever. They listens to only their parents words. They want only money.
      To women a husband should earn more money than bill gates, Should not look to any other women like saints, Spend all money to her or her parents,

  54. I m a badly humiliated, insultedn and harassed husabd livong in Agra city. I have 3 children studing in scoolls. Kinly conact me or give your contact urgenlt. I have got severe Heart Attack on 20.06.14 due to my naggling wiffe. Pls help me as my life is at risk now. Thanks/ mr. Khan / agra

  55. I'm also a victim of harassment brutally raped everyday by my husband cant even tell anyone that my husband rapes me but the day i told my in laws they said nothing to him later on last year When my husband gave me physical injury I left his home now its going to be one year I have two kids.what action I should take against him Because I dont have any evidence that i was going through mental, physical trauma.guide me I'll be very thankful.

    1. If you are not interested in sexual desires of ur husband, he can as well ask for divorce.In your opinion it may be rape.But as per law it is not.All other allegations are baseless

  56. My sister in law is an impulsive, extremely short tempered and sick mentality lady. She has been living separately with my younger brother just after an year of marriage. Sometimes she comes to my parents home and verbally physically abuse my senior citizen parents. She treats my brother like a pet. I live in USA and came to my parents home in summer vacations. She was also at my parents home. just after 2 days, i came here. she hit me abused me, my mother and called her parents. Her father and younger sister abused my father, and threatened my parents that they will file false dowry case. My father and mother very badly humilated on the name of this one sided sick 498A law. they also threatened me that they will falsly implicate me in dowry case. My question is that 1. How can I be implicated in dowry case when I donot live with my parents in fact i donot live in this country 2. I have tapes (I recorded the voice of my sister in law when she was abusing my parents and me) of recorded voice of my sister in law, her father and sister of abusing us. How can I use these proofs as an act of violence against senior citizen. My father said that if they implicate me then It may be difficult for me to go back to my Home at US. Am I so helpless to see my old aged parents being tortured and do nothing to stop it.

    1. I feel pity on you guys.You are one of the brave guys who dare to atleast express your feelings.Here,all the male members of the family are emotionally suppressed and are forced to shut their voices the females,dominating the society using these falthu one sided laws.
      A day will come on near future,where,all the men revolt against attrocities of women,and cultivate hatredness on women.It is observed that,suicides are two folds more by men,who suffer emotionally blackmailed by wives using dowry and harassment false cases.
      In your case please do not lose courage, you have legitimate proof ,keep faith in god and our law. prove yourself and fill courage to your old parents.
      Lastly abandon such furious ladies, and try to live with your parents and take care of them.; may god bless you.

    2. Women in this era (generation) are so intelligent. Before marriage they will accept for every thing and after marriage they will show the real torture that you can never imagine. In you case you can travel to US easily as no obstacles for travelling. But one request is , any way your brothers life is spoiled . Please take this as an opportunity to save your parents and your self from a girl.

  57. I have been suffering for 15 years of my marriage, last year she ran away along with my two kids from my hometown to her hometown when I was away in a foreign country on a tour and then she filed DV Case against me.She has demanded 40,000 per month as maintenance. I have not been able to see or talk to my growing up children for the last one and half years who are reaching thier teens now.She is poisoning them with hatred against me.I have lost my peace but believing in God that I should at least get my children back so that I can bring them up like normal children with love and care. It is always published that men are always at fault but I have seen women to be 99 percent at fault because it is said that it is the women who makes or breaks her family. An intelligent women makes her family where as a foolish women breaks her family.This quote is from Bible said by GOD himself.

  58. An impulsive lady member of resident society lodged complaint against my family male member u/s 354,452,506,509 for heated discussion in leakage from flat kind of matter using outraging of women modesty etc. He was arrested for 2 days and got free on bail. The matter is trivial and frivolous. The IO gave the chargesheet after 4 months. The witnesses mentioned in chargesheet do not say about the crime. They have remained neutral. They have not signed also.1) Then how and what basis the arrest was made? 2) Can that lady produce other influenced people as evidence? Being lady can she be punished for lodging wrong FIR? The matter is in court and court has given further date. What that male should do now? In one meeting with society members long ago; - she has expressed to withdraw the complaint. However after that there is no either side communication and how can we confirm that? In what way the things are possible now? what are the consequences and cost? (The male's routine has become anxiety, lacks interest and concentration due to daily news flash (Preity Zinta - simillar cases, law being in favour of women etc.) Please reply. God bless.

  59. Sir, request to reply and throw light on above issue.

  60. 20-Apr-2014 14:17
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  61. An impulsive lady member of resident society lodged complaint against my family male member u/s 354,452,506,509 for heated discussion in leakage from flat kind of matter using outraging of women modesty etc. He was arrested for 2 days and got free on bail. The matter is trivial and frivolous. The IO gave the chargesheet after 4 months. The witnesses mentioned in chargesheet do not say about the crime. They have remained neutral. They have not signed also.1) Then how and what basis the arrest was made? 2) Can that lady produce other influenced people as evidence? Being lady can she be punished for lodging wrong FIR? The matter is in court and court has given further date. What that male should do now? In one meeting with society members long ago; - she has expressed to withdraw the complaint. However after that there is no either side communication and how can we confirm that? In what way the things are possible now? what are the consequences and cost? (The male's routine has become anxiety, lacks interest and concentration due to daily news flash (Preity Zinta - simillar cases, law being in favour of women etc.) Please reply. God bless. Sorry but an opinion /advice is important to us. Thank you

  62. Any luck with the reply.

  63. Hello,

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  64. Sir, I required advice on FIR under various difficult sections. The reply above of August 18, 2014 is on finance and tax related laws. Kindly do needful. Thanks.

  65. Sir, I want to know can we hold the proceedings of DV act when there is a pending case in Family court on RCR

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